Deity Writeup: Crom

I thought the Carnifex was pretty good.  Let's see if we can do better.  Thanks to Metal Gods of Ur-Hadad and Crawljammer for inspiration.

Crom. The Mountain King. Lord of Valhalla. StarSmasher.

Crom is a balanced force, who thrills for battle. Crom gives men the strength to stand on their own against the forces of law and chaos.

"Crom is the god of men and steel. Long ago, the giants that live in the earth tricked Crom and took from him the riddle of steel. Crom killed the giants with fire and earth and threw their bodies into the ocean. But in the fury of battle, the gods forgot the secret of steel on the battlefield, and those that found it are simply men. Not gods, nor giants, but men.

Some claim that Crom was once a man, that he led the armies of the Wild Men the day they broke the strength of the Elder slavers. Perhaps, but no matter. For now Crom continues the eternal battle against Colaxis and the serpent-wizards of Praxis IV across the stars."

All clerics and warriors of Crom greet one another with the Dillon-Dutch Predator handshake. Powerful disciples are able to emit a minor sonic boom in this manner. Yes, the Judge should make this gameable.

All clerics of Crom must come up with a catch-phrase used when they activate their Holy Sword through the spell Divine Symbol. Suitable examples include:

• "Thunder, Thunder, Thunder, Thundercats, Ho!!!"
• "By the Power of Greyskull!"
• "I Have the Power!"
• "Autobots, Transform and Rollout!"
• "Care Bear Stare!"
• "Form Blazing Sword!"
• "By the Power of Crom, I am Captain Planet!"

Alignment: Crom embraces the mixture of saint and sinner that is man. He battles for a future where men choose their own destiny and are free from interference from the overreaching of Law and Chaos.

Healing: Clerics of Crom heal by distributing the wounds of their subjects across the host of all Crom's followers. Eventually the cleric will be called upon to bear his portion of these wounds...

Unholy: Serpents, serpentine humanoids, planar (law/chaos), dark sorcerers and magical constructs, giants, poisoners, deceivers, subhumanoids (not including elves, dwarves, and hobbits - though Crom is not overly fond of them...).

Holy Symbol: Clerics of Crom carry a longsword or two-handed sword crafted by a master smith as their holy symbol.

Boon: Clerics of Crom cast Divine Symbol as a 1st-level cleric spell (+2 to spellchecks), replacing one of their randomly chosen cleric spells at 1st level.  Clerics of Crom are proficient with all swords.

Disapproval Table for Crom

All effects last until Disapproval resets, unless specified otherwise.

1. Meditation: Crom senses fear in the heart of the cleric. The cleric loses all spellcasting ability until he spends one hour in meditation, after which he recommits his life to a violent end. +2 to the next spellcheck.
2. The Visage of Crom: The cleric doubles over with pain as Crom warps his physical form to be closer to Crom's ideal (all forehead and biceps).  The cleric is at -2 to all physical checks for the next hour until he becomes accustomed to the modifications.
3. Enough!!! Crom grows tired of these constant requests for aid and bellows his divine rejection in the cleric's ears. The cleric is struck deaf for the next 1d6 hours, all surrounding individuals are struck deaf for 1d6 turns.
4. Suffer for the Cause (Minor): The cleric is called upon to bear minor wounds sustained by other followers of Crom. Gashes and bruises appear across his body. -1 to STR, AGL, and STA which heals normally.
5. The Fist of Crom: The cleric calls on Crom, interrupting the Mountain King's frivolities in Valhalla. Crom slams his divine fist (roughly the size of a man) into the body of the cleric, knocking him out cold. The cleric stays unconscious for 1d3 turns, and remains groggy (-4 penalty to all rolls) for one hour after waking.
6. The Battle Rages in a Distant Galaxy...: Crom's forces are currently occupied in a pitched battle with the LizTars of Colaxis near the Gorblarn Nebula. With Crom unable to provide aid, the cleric may only redistribute hit points with his healing ability from among willing local participants for a period of 1d2 days.
7. The Mead of Valhalla: Crom has seen uncountable numbers of men live and die in battle. To teach the cleric to relish life and the thrill of glorious battle, Crom fills the cleric's belly with the mead of Valhalla, making him stinking drunk for a period of 1d6 hours. The cleric becomes joyful and uninhibited, but his actions become sloppy, resulting in -1d to all actions requiring concentration or finesse (Judge's discretion).
8. The Trial of Savagery: Crom grows tired of the 'civilized' manners of his servant, and yearns for the days when men were wild and free! The cleric's intelligence is dropped to 3, he loses the power of speech and can barely understand language. The cleric also becomes more defiant and impulsive. During this time the cleric gains +1 to physical checks (including combat) and spellchecks as he learns to call on Crom without words.
9. Suffer for the Cause (Major): The cleric is called upon to bear major wounds sustained by other followers of Crom. His muscles are torn and bones are bruised as open slashes appear across his body.  -3 to STR, AGL and STA, which heal normally.
10. Join the Fight!  The cleric is surrounded by the ghostly shapes of Crom's warriors and Serpent-Men caught in a pitched battle on an alien planet. Suddenly, several of the Serpent-Men (per the Judge's discretion) materialize in the cleric's location as Crom sends them to be cut down by his holy warrior.
11. Tithe: Crom demands the cleric donate 40% of his material possessions to the followers of Crom, preferably in the form of weapons and armor, training, and fortification. Until the cleric agrees to this demand, he suffers a -4 to his spellchecks.
12. The Trial of Poison: Crom demonstrates the vile nature of poison by infecting the cleric with a slow-acting toxin. At the start of each day, the cleric's maximum HP is lowered by 1. At the end of each day, the cleric rolls a fortitude save as his body attempts to develop an antigen, DC (21 - # of HP lost). When the cleric passes his fortitude save, he recovers all lost HP after a full night's rest, and gains a +1 to all saves against poison.
13. A Tour In The Mech Corps: The cleric is pressed into service as a psychic pilot of a Mark X5 Hunter-Killer Unit carrying out operations on a forward base of Colaxis. For the next 1d5 nights, each night the cleric's consciousness is transferred into the unit, where he experiences savagery that cannot be believed (X5 Units provide faithful pain and sensory input to the user, to increase success rates...). Each morning the cleric wakes exhausted and harrowed, losing 1d2 temporary PER, and only recovering half of his Disapproval, but gaining 1d4 XP. At the end of his tour, the cleric is discharged with a chit that can be redeemed with Crom for +2 to any spellcheck.
14. Quest: Crom orders the Cleric on a quest to deliver a savage blow to the foes of men.  The cleric suffers -2 to all spellchecks until he is actively pursuing the quest.
15. Suffer for the Cause (Critical): The cleric is called upon to bear critical wounds sustained by other followers of Crom. The cleric's body is left a crumpled mess as his bones crack and deep tissue bruises appear over his entire body. The pain is excruciating. Crom grants the cleric a minor blessing as a reward for this burden. -6 to STR, AGL and STA which heals normally, +1 to luck.
16. Trial of Gravity: Crom tests the cleric's will. The effect of gravity is doubled on the cleric, resulting in half distances for jumps, -10 to climb checks, and -1d for all physical combat and activities. At the end of each day, the cleric has a 5% cumulative chance to physically adapt to this new environment, after which Crom removes the effect and the cleric gains +1 to the physical attribute of his choice. The cleric may also beg Crom to take away this burden, resulting in a permanent -1 to PER as the cleric is forever stained by his failure.
17. Drafted! - The cleric (and his party members per the Judge's discretion) are instantly taken as per the Eternal Champion spell to aid the followers of Crom at some place and time of the Judge's choosing. The Judge may play through the day's events, or randomly determine the effect on the cleric, including XP gained, damage suffered, and adventures had! Recommendations include a siege of The Infernal Factory, a defense of Hill 7Z on the 4th moon of Pluto, or a "bug hunt" to rescue captured warriors on Klendathu. Characters killed during the spell are returned alive with the rest, but as if they had succeeded on a roll-the-body check. All characters conducting themselves heroically receive +1 luck.  The Judge is encouraged to come up with suicide-type missions for the characters.
18. Incoming Warp Signatures Detected! - The cleric is made known to a significant enemy of Crom and unwittingly becomes a part of the galactic conflicts of the StarSmasher. Expect potential inbound starships and light orbital bombardment.
19. The Curse of Death: Crom warps fate, sparing one of his most favored followers from death by switching his destiny with that of the cleric. For the next 48 hours, as the spirit of death seeks to rectify the imbalance, the cleric is treated as having a 3 luck as anything that can go wrong does go wrong. The Judge may change the outcome of any three rolls in an attempt to kill the unfortunate cleric. If the cleric survives this period, he may assume the title "He Who Laughs At Death," and gains +2 luck. Forever after, the cleric is personally known to Death, who considers him an admirable rival.
20. Riddle of Steel: Time stops, and the cleric suddenly finds himself standing before Crom and his greatest warriors in Valhalla! Crom immediately demands the cleric answer him the Riddle of Steel. The player has 30 seconds to come up with a short, epic speech concerning valor, steel, and the human soul. The cleric rolls a DC 20 willpower save, modified up to 5 points based on the quality of the speech. If failed, Crom bellows "NOT GOOD ENOUGH, MORTAL!" as he scoops the cleric up in his fist and hurls him to earth. The cleric smashes into the ground, creating a medium-sized crater and suffering 1d3 permanent physical ability score damage, assigned randomly, as his body is sundered from the impact. All creatures within 20' of the cleric are knocked prone and suffer 1d6 damage from the shockwave, and the cleric is dazed for 1d3 rounds. If the cleric passes the test, Crom bellows with laughter as he recognizes the cleric's growing understanding. Crom places his mark of favor upon the cleric, and the cleric gains a permanent +1 to PER and forever gains a +2 to attempts at Divine Aid.